The Camping Trip
by Vyvyan Quill
Summary: The boys take a camping trip in order to start writing together again. Not sure yet how slashy things will get by the end of it, it will probably just be a lot of angst, so fair warning… :)
1. Chapter 1

As the squat cabin rolled into view, an invisible air of anxiety began to lift. It was as if reaching the destination verified and solidified the fact that they were going to be spending the week together. Alone.

Julian sighed. "There it is," he announced.

Julian had gotten that familiar squelching feeling in his stomach as soon as he saw Noel exit his apartment across the street. He had been loading supplies into the trunk of the car, and Noel emerged, toting a rolling suitcase that almost reached up to Noel's chest.

"One suitcase, Ju!" he called, waving. Julian had nodded, diverted his gaze quickly down into the jam-packed trunk. He felt a bit foolish now, bringing so much junk. But as he grew older, Julian found himself less and less tolerant of discomfort. Discomfort seemed to follow him wherever he went, and any opportunity to avoid it was becoming the default option.

The two of them stood around for a few minutes, neither willing to point out that it was time to leave, neither quite willing to leave.

Eventually, though, Julian said a final goodbye to Julia and the twins and the boys were off.  
The first half of the ride had been shaky. Loads of nervous laughter and averted eyes and fiddling with the radio, but none of the squabbling and teasing Noel had missed so much between them. He felt he needed to tiptoe, feel things out.  
But as soon as Noel settled on Kings of Leon, Julian began grumbling, and Noel began poking fun back, and somehow it was back to normal. Noel was flooded with all the bands he had been meaning to show Julian and, amping his phone's feeble speakers up to full volume, he skipped from song to song. "Oh, this one is genius! Oh, he's got this other song – yeah, this one I saw them do live, it was brilliant!"

Julian injected an insult here and there, and about half of the songs were utter shit and most of the others were simply thoroughly mediocre. But truthfully, he was more than glad to listen to Noel's  
endless babblings.

But even once the ball got rolling with conversation, there was a feeling in the air that it was going to end. Like they were taking a nice drive in the woods, and eventually they would take a right and pull back into the apartment-lined London street they both lived on.

But after an hour and a half, they were pulling up to the cabin Lliana's friend had leant them for the week.

Noel pretended help Julian drag the mounds of stuff in from the trunk, picking up one object at a time and slowly walking it to the front room, all the while teasing the older man. "It was a lot of work, whittlin' it down to just one suitcase! Whatcha gonna use a blender for, anyway?"

When the contents of the car was finally dumped in a large pile on the floor of the cabin, Julian immediately set to work organizing things into piles. For the kitchen, the bedroom, the toilet...

Noel crossed his legs, watching Julian unpack. He was going on about something to do with the bus schedules in their neighborhood.

"Why don't you just take a cab or a private car," Noel asked when there was a pause in Julian's monologue.

"Too much money," Julian muttered.

"Money? Aren't you getting the same royalties as me? If not, we've got to make some phone calls, mate."

Julian glanced at Noel with that old amused annoyance and Noel instantly felt several times more relaxed. He sunk into the couch and let Julian's argument for investments and savings and insurance wash over him like warm water.

"Yeah, well, s'easy for you, when you wear shoes like those," Noel commented, stretching lazily.

"What's wrong with my shoes, then?"

"What's wrong with 'em? What's right with them? How much did they cost you?"

"Cost doesn't mean that much."

"As if! You can't buy clothes without about three thousand dollars and a blowjob to the cashier!"

This produced a snuffle of laughter from Julian. Though he was not done with unpacking, he strode over to the couch and settled next to Noel.

"Yeah, well I'm a simple man, Noel. A simple man with simple tastes."

"Right, like jazz fusion is simple."

"Well... that's different. Jazz fusion is an experience. It's a lifestyle. It's a possibility of life beyond the life we know..." As Julian waxed lyrical about fusion, Noel leaned closer to Julian. Now he could feel the familiar warmth Julian constantly exuded like a space heater.

"Alice Cooper talks about life beyond the life we know."

"Look, I don't care about Alice Cooper."

"Have you ever heard Alice Cooper?"

Julian gave a fake hesitation, knowing it would make Noel smile. It did. "Yeah, I've heard 'im. Just... awful. Couldn't take it. Had to soothe me furrowed brow with a bit of Coltrane just to keep from jumpin' the ledge."

There was a pause and Noel worried Julian might remember the unpacking and leave again. Instead, he twisted his neck to look at Noel.

"Wait, since when do you know anything about jazz fusion?"

Noel felt a twist in his stomach. "What?"

"You said 'jazz fusion is complicated,'" Julian said, a satisfied smirk on his face.

"I did not!" Noel squawked with fake-offense, sitting up a bit to look Julian in the eye. Julian's eyes were warm, soft, comfortable.

"Or something like that, anyway."

Noel almost put up a fight, but instead sank down into Julian's shoulder again. To his surprise, Julian lifted his arm and allowed Noel to slide in against Julian's chest. Here it was even warmer.

"Well," Noel murmured, "What can you expect from bein' around you so much? It seeps in, I can't prevent it. It's a tragedy, really."

"Mmm," Julian said. He had lost interest in the conversation now that Noel was breathing against him. He hoped Noel would be quiet for a moment, just for the sake of enjoying the silence.

Thankfully, he did, for a whole five seconds. Then, he said, "I missed this."

Julian clenched his jaw. He squeezed Noel's shoulder. "Me too."


	2. Chapter 2

Julian poured the mixture of rice, vegetables, and beef tips onto two plates and covered them with the peanut sauce. Meanwhile, Noel sat at the table and peeled a roll layer by layer.

"Hope you like this. It's Julia's mom's recipe. Very good stuff."

Noel didn't respond, but looked at his roll listlessly.

"Alright, Noel?" Julian asked, sliding the two plates onto the table.

The younger man looked up, raised his eyebrows, and nodded. "Mhm!" Then, sighing, sunk down against the wooden chair.

It was hard for Julian not to chuckle. As genuine as Noel probably considered his depression, or whatever he would call it, Julian knew the mood was only temporary. Noel was never very good at feeling anything other than happiness. He was probably just upset that flares were back in season or that bald was the new hot look. So, he pressed on.

"C'mon, tell me honestly. What's wrong?" He shoveled a bite into his mouth and reveled in the fact that he'd gotten the recipe down perfectly.

"It's nothing," Noel mumbled, chasing a piece of rice around with his fingertip. The food smelled delicious, and he felt his stomach rumble quietly, but he knew if he dug in, Julian would assume Noel was over the problem. And Noel was not ready to be over the problem yet. He stared at the table and waited for Julian to ask his next question.

"Well, come on, it's obviously not nothing. What's the matter? Is it the cabin? Because, I mean... you knew it wasn't going to be exactly five stars."

"The cabin's fine," Noel sighed.

"Then what?" Julian's voice was still gentle, not impatient in the slightest. The time away from Noel had been good for him. He seemed relaxed, confident, sometimes even serene. He had seen Julian like that many times before, like the first couple years of their partnership, and long periods of time directly after they got the radio show, the TV show, the big live shows... But now it just was coming from nowhere.

"Maybe we shouldn't write the movie." The words surprised Noel. He had meant to sulk, throw around red herring answers, dance around the subject until Julian guessed it himself. But now it was out for all to see, sitting on the table like an ugly severed head, and Noel couldn't do anything about it. He glanced up to see Julian's reaction.

He was chewing a big bite of food and had his brow furrowed. He seemed to be thinking very hard, but it was always hard to tell with Julian. Even his neutral face looked vaguely worried.

Finally, he swallowed and patted his lips with a napkin. Every time Noel saw Julian, he was always shocked that Julian still had that damned mustache. The mustache, which started out only as a gag for Noel to pick on _because_ it was so hideous and goofy, now had become a permanent fixture on Julian's face. Then again, he'd seen a clean-shaven Julian a couple years ago, and was much more comfortable with the mustache than with the puckered skin of his bare upper lip. Noel guessed the years of near-chain smoking had made it all strange looking like the underbelly of a naked molerat. In that way, the mustache was probably the man's best option. Or maybe it was the only real option, like Noel's only real option would always be tight pants and a funky hairstyle. Noel wondered if he could, or should, ask about it later, and put a mental flag in the thought to remind him.

"Why would you say that?" Julian asked. It took a while for Noel to return from his ponderings, and remember about the movie. He shifted in his seat, again cursing himself for not being more coy about the matter. Now that he'd said it out loud, he was ready to move on from the subject. It was good to simply get the worry off his chest, and he didn't actually feel like talking about it anymore.

"I dunno," Noel mumbled, popping a single piece of rice in his mouth and chewing through it slowly. It reminded him of chewing a pillbug.

Julian watched Noel carefully. After a while, when it became clear that Noel was not planning on honestly answering the question, he said, "C'mon, what's on your mind? Let's hear it."

Noel fidgeted around in his seat, mussing his hair, pushing food around, then he finally said, "I'm afraid it won't be any good."

Julian raised his eyebrows. "Oh."

"I mean, you know what I mean, right? It's like... we haven't done anything for years, and then we come together and... what if we do something and it's shite? What if it's not any fun? Y'know? What if people think it's stupid, or just more of the same stuff? I just..." He broke off and shook his head, looking at the table.

"Woah, there," Julian said, trying to catch Noel's eye, "Got a lot on your mind, then. Alright, calm yourself."

"Anyway, I don't even _know_ you anymore!"

Julian cocked an eyebrow. "Oh? What do you mean by that?"

Noel glanced up at Julian furtively, then back down again. "I mean, like... when we started the Boosh, we were livin' together, we ran in the same circles, we talked every day..."

Julian nodded emphatically. "And now..."

"And now, I'm lucky if I see you once a month. And we live across the bleedin' street from each other!"

Now it was Julian's turn to look at the table. "I'm sorry," he murmured, "It's just, the twins..."

"No," Noel said quickly, jumping to Julian's defense, "it's me, too. I've got stuff keepin' me busy all the time. It's both of us, y'know?"

"So," Julian cleared his throat, "What are you saying? We've grown too far apart?"

Noel bit his lip. "I dunno. I'm just... I don't want to do a shit job just for the sake of, like, reviving the Boosh."

Julian nodded thoughtfully. He placed a bite of food in his mouth and chewed slowly. Eventually, Noel looked up and watched the other man. It felt like being on trial, like the fate of the world rested on the words Ju would speak when he finally chewed and swallowed that fateful bite of stir fry.

"Hm."

Noel deflated. He rolled his eyes, sighed heavily, and plunked his head down onto his crossed arms on the table.

Julian smiled, watching his friend. "Did I say something?"

Noel groaned against the table. He felt a smile pushing its way onto his face and was glad it was hidden from sight. When he finally got his face under control again, he sat back up. "Well? Let's have it, then. Do you agree or don't you?"

Julian's eyebrows worked as he thought. Then, he seemed to let the thought dissipate and he shrugged. "I dunno." He shrugged again, smiled, put another bite of food in his mouth. Noel thought that was the end of it, so he began pushing his food around with his fork again. If that was all Julian had to say for the Boosh, then that was that. What was the point of carrying on if Julian didn't even give a shit whether it continued or not?

Julian watched Noel's chipped painted fingernails as Noel fiddled with his food. If it'd been Arthur or Walter, he would have advised them that food was for eating, not for playing. He took a deep breath, thought his words through carefully, then spoke. "One thing I've learned these last few years, is you should never plan ahead too much."

The two men looked at each other for a long while across the table. Noel blinked, asking silently what the hell the man was talking about.

As if reading Noel's mind, Julian slowly raised himself from the table, walked around and knelt next to Noel on the ground. He placed a hand on Noel's knee. "Listen, little man," he murmured, quite enjoying seeing Noel's eyes widen from nervousness, "whether or not we make a movie, or a new series, or a new stage show, or whatever... You should know that I'm just glad to see you, and be near you. If we get to the end of the week and we've come up with fuck-all, I won't mind. We've never worked well when we've _tried_ to work, anyway. So... let's just see what happens, eh? Keep work in mind, but otherwise just relax and enjoy ourselves. How does that sound?"

For the first time in his speech, Julian finally made proper and full eye contact with Noel. Noel felt like a schoolgirl again, melting in the palm of Julian's hand. Yes, yes, yes. A thousand times, yes. He would do anything the man said. Anything.

"Alright, sure, whatever," Noel said instead, "As long as I don't have to worry about working, I'm fine."

Julian nodded, placed his hand on Noel's knee as if he'd heard Noel's thoughts instead of his words. When he sat back at his plate and began eating, Noel finally found his own appetite again and started devouring the stir fry. For the rest of the meal, Noel chatted endlessly about how idiotic music was these days and Julian endlessly pointed out that music has always been like that, only Noel was too young to notice.


End file.
